Funny how birthdays happen the same day every year and still manage to sneak up on you. My kids turned 5 and 7 in the past two weeks and I’m wondering how they both got another year past me.

How did they get so big?

BeFunky_three balloons

Next weekend my daughter’s having her first sleepover. I know she’s ready for it but I’m not. Seven seems so young. To me sleepovers are about making prank phone calls and renting Chippendales movies and putting each other’s bras in the freezer, all of which I’m sure I didn’t do until I was at least 14.

Now 7-year-olds are walking around with cell phones and ipads and singing along to Miley Cyrus. Dammit, why couldn’t she stay Hannah Montana forever?

I think it’s the chicken. They pump it full of so many damn hormones and it’s messing with our kids. Is that chocolate milk on my 5-year-old’s face or the hint of a mustache? And why are they making press-on nails for little girls?

The whole thing makes me want to stuff myself with birthday cake. This is a good one.

They’re Not Getting Any Younger Chocolate Birthday Cake

Makes two 9-inch cakes or 22 cupcakes.


1 and 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 and 1/2 cups sugar (I didn’t say it was healthy!)

3/4 cup cocoa powder

1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1 cup full fat coconut milk

1 cup boiling water


Preheat oven to 350 F/175 C. Grease cake or cupcake pans.

Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add wet ingredients and beat on slow speed for 2 minutes to combine. Batter will be thin.

Pour into pans. Bake cakes for 30 to 35 mins; cupcakes for 18 to 20.

Let cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans.

One thought on “Birthdays

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